


Different

by WritingStuff



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Falling In Love, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, mentions of rape/non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-09-30 08:08:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17220155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingStuff/pseuds/WritingStuff
Summary: Draco seemed very different lately, and Harry was beginning to notice.(first chapter is just a short intro chapter to see if people like the idea of it.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a very short started chapter to see if this is an idea that interests anyone.

Draco seemed different lately.

Not in a way that Harry had ever seen before.  It wasn't like when he lost a Quidditch match or got a bad grade in Potions.  Usually he would just glare a little more than usual and grasp at every opportunity to humiliate Harry, even more frequently than he normally would.  No, this time was very different.  It wasn't outright noticeable unless you paid close attention to Draco, which Harry was reluctant to admit that he did, but he knew it was the truth.  When Draco knew he was being watched his face always appeared perfectly stoic, his mannerism the same as always, even if it did seem a bit forced at times, even to other people.  But, when he thought no one was looking his eyes would take on a haunted look.  Sometimes he looked so unbelievably sad, at other times his eyes reflected such fear that Harry almost felt scared himself.  Harry noticed other little things as well.  Like when someone would throw a casual arm around Draco's shoulders his eyes would widen in fear and he'd flinch, but it was always gone the next second, so quickly that Harry was sure no one ever noticed.  Well, except for Harry himself of course.  Draco had also developed what looked to be nervous ticks.  He began to bite away at his previously perfectly manicured nails, he scratched at his arms, was almost constantly looking over his shoulder.  Harry knew some people had noticed the change's in Draco, his behavior a little too paranoid, a bit too quiet to go completely unnoticed.  But many people were acting different these days with news of the Dark Lord's return.  If Harry had been anyone else he would have dismissed Draco's behavior as understandable fear and nervousness for the likely upcoming war, but Harry knew Draco better than that.  Harry was almost positive he knew Draco better than anyone, except perhaps Draco's own mother.      

Harry wasn't exactly sure what to do though.  Rationally he kew he shouldn't care, Draco was his rival, the bane of his existence, a never ending thorn in his side.  Harry  _knew_ he wasn't supposed to care but he  _did_.  Every time Draco walked by him without insulting him, just glancing at him with those sad eyes and putting his head down, Harry felt his heart ache.  His unusual, and typically unpleasant, interactions with Draco had always made him  _so angry_ , but now that they were gone he wanted them back more than anything.  He found himself thinking the one thing he never thought that he'd think, he  _missed_ Draco Malfoy.  

So, as Harry stared across the Great Hall during dinner that night, observing the ever darkening circles under Draco's eyes and his withering form, he resolved himself to find out what was wrong with Draco and help put him back together.  Harry knew that whatever it was that was eating away at Draco was going to be something awful, because even though Draco could be somewhat cowardly he definitely had a strong resolve, and nothing small would have broken that.  But Harry knew that he was prepared to deal with whatever was hurting Draco, because even though he vehemently denied it up until now, he cared a great deal for the git and he couldn't stand knowing he was in so much pain and he likely had no one to help him through it.  Harry was going to help Draco no matter what it took, now he just needed to figure out how he was going to get Draco to trust him.  


	2. Chapter 2

Draco looked up and locked eyes with Potter. That had been happening more and more lately, and it was starting to worry Draco. He would catch Potter staring at him, and then Potter would quickly look away. Draco wasn’t sure what to think about it, and every time he saw Potter he would start to worry about how he should be acting. Their interactions seemed forced on both sides now. Draco didn’t have the energy to waste on Potter, but he also knew it would be too suspicious to just all of a sudden stop with his jibes and sneers. It all just seemed like too much lately, and having to actually try to purposefully come up with ways to bother Potter like he used to was getting tiring, compared to how it came so naturally during their first years. And now Potter had stopped getting angry or insulting him back when Draco would insult him. Potter would just look at him with a confused look and then sigh and keep walking, like he was trying to figure something out about Draco, and Draco couldn’t have that.

Draco knew he needed to figure out a way to steer Potters curiosity away from him, but he had no idea what to do aside from just trying to act like his normal self, which obviously wasn’t working since that’s what he had already been trying to do. He dropped his head down onto the Slytherin dinner table and groaned out loud, ignoring the concerned questions coming from Pansy and trying to focus on willing the oncoming headache he could feel to go away. Everything was getting too much for him to handle before he had to deal with Potter, and now he could feel overwhelming anxiety trying to crawl its way up his throat. He felt tears begin to spring to his eyes and quickly shot up and fled the Great Hall. He knew he looked suspicious right now, but he would just write it off as feeling the urge to throw up if anyone asked him why he left so abruptly.

Draco panicked even more when he couldn’t think of where to go where no one would be able to find him. Then he remembered overhearing Potter talking about the basically abandoned girls bathroom on the second floor and he quickly made his way there, hoping Potter wouldn’t think to look here for him but he was sure Potter noticed his abrupt exit and probably wouldn’t keep his nose in his own business. Draco knew he’d just have to risk that though, and hoped that Potter finally gained the common sense to leave Draco alone.

Draco burst through the door of the girls bathroom and quickly fell to the ground, clutching his chest and letting the tears fall. He heard a noise somewhere in the bathroom and quickly looked up in time to see the ghost of a girl about his age disappear and he silently thanked her for giving him privacy when she obviously wouldn’t have had to. Draco had just began to completely let himself go when he heard the door behind him swing open. He stopped making any sound, stopped breathing practically, and slowly turned around and locked his teary and red eyes right onto none other than, of course, Harry Potter.

Draco just glared when he locked eyes with potter, knowing his voice would come out broken and shaky, and hoped that Potter would get the message to _go the fuck away_. Of course Potter was too stupid for that, as he just stared at Draco with wide dumbfounded looking eyes and slowly inched closer to Draco until he was standing right in front of him. Potter then slowly sank down to his knees, putting himself at eye level with Draco who was still kneeling on the floor. Draco honestly had no idea how to react in this situation, and he definitely didn’t know how to react when he noticed Potters arms slowly coming around to embrace him. With the warmth of Potter around him and the steady beat of his heart against Draco’s ear he wanted so bad to give in and just hug Potter back, tell him _everything_ , just so _someone_ _else_ would know what he was going through. But he knew he couldn’t, no matter how much he acted like he despised Potter he didn’t want to put him in any more danger than Potter already put himself into. So he quickly shoved Potter off, gave him a glare that he was sure lacked the necessary heat, and got up and rushed out of the bathroom, leaving a stunned and confused Potter kneeling on the bathroom floor alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Draco quickly made his way back to the Slytherin dorms, rushing through the thankfully empty common room and heading straight for his bed. He threw himself down, so many thoughts swirling through his head that he was starting to get one of the worst headaches of his life, and he didn’t want to deal with it, he didn’t want to deal with anything. He knew he would be alone for a while, as everyone else who he shared his dorm with had classes for at least the next couple hours, Draco figured that would be enough time to get himself drunk enough to stop thinking, to pass out, anything really to get rid of this feeling he had right now.

Draco pulled the firewhiskey he had hidden deep in his chest out and started drinking it straight out of the bottle. He only had about half of it left, but he figured it would be enough for now. Draco drank down about a fourth of the bottles current contents and then promptly started coughing because of the burning feeling in his throat. Draco knew he probably shouldn’t drink anymore, this would be enough to at least help him fall asleep, at least for a little while. But Draco just wanted to _forget_ so bad. He put the bottle back up to his lips and drank about half of what was left, leaving only a little left in the bottle. He decided to save that last little bit in case he ended up needing it before he was able to get more.

Draco stood up in order to put the bottle away, so he wouldn’t be tempted to finish it off, but the effects of the alcohol hit him as soon as he got to his feet. The room was spinning a little and everything felt….uneven. He stumbled his way to his chest, put the bottle away and then took a seat on top of the chest. Draco’s mind began to drift, and the first thing it went to was Harry. Draco started to feel angry, why would Harry hug him like that? What did it mean? Was he trying to mock Draco? Maybe….Maybe he should go and confront Harry, Draco thought, demand to know Harry’s reasoning. But he quickly changed his mind when he tried to stand and promptly found himself face down on the floor. The cool floor felt good against his warm cheek, so he decided he would just stay there for a little while. Confronting Harry could wait a bit he supposed, he was just too tired right now, and he never would have imagined the floor to feel this nice. He closed his eyes and started to feel himself drift. He let himself go, not having the usual reservations he had about sleep due to the alcohol. The mix of alcohol and his sleep deprived state started to take over and he found himself asleep within minutes.

-Dream-

Draco had just walked through the front door of Malfoy Manor when he heard it. A whimper, quiet at this distance, but obviously frightened. He knew the only person it could be was his mother, and as that thought hit him he ran straight to the source of the sound, wand at the ready. He threw open the door to his mothers room, wand pointing at the intruder, until he saw who it was. Voldemort was standing in front of his mother, his disgusting hands moving over her, his face had a lecherous look on it that made Draco want to vomit.

“Take a look Draco,” Voldemort sneered at him, “your mother has been kind enough to offer herself to me. Lovely, isn’t she?”

“Please…” Draco heard himself say, “please leave her alone.” He couldn’t stand to know his mother was being hurt. Being violated by this revolting creature. He just couldn’t allow it, he’d do anything to protect his mother.

“I have desires dear Draco, what do you expect me to do about them, if I’m not to use your mother?” Voldemort smirked at him, obviously knowing what Draco would do next.

Draco ignored his mother, who was staring at him with wide, terrified eyes, and was frantically shaking her head. “No. Draco, my baby, please. I can do this, it’s fine, just turn around and walk away.” He listened to his mother plead with him to leave, but he paid no heed to it and looked toward Voldemort.

“You can have me.” Draco stated plainly, he felt void of all emotion, like he couldn’t quite process what was going to happen, so his brain had decided to go onto autopilot.

“Well I suppose that seems an even trade...” Voldemort trailed off, an evil gleam appearing in his eyes, “You will of course have to pleasure me whenever I please while you are home, if you wish for me to say away from your mother.”

“Deal.” Draco whispered, knowing he had just made the most disastrous deal of his life, but knowing if it was going to keep Voldemort from his mother he would do it for the rest of his life.

-Dream End-

Draco jerked awake, sweat covering the entirety of his body and still feeling a slight buzz in his head. The time showed him it was around nine at night, so he had slept for a few hours. Draco could hear the bustle of Slytherins out in the common room and knew it wouldn’t be long before he was no longer alone, and he didn’t want anyone to see him in this state. He used a charm to rid the smell of alcohol from the room, and then crawled into bed, knowing he wouldn’t sleep. He would just have to wait until everyone else was asleep, and he wouldn’t have to speak with anyone before he got up.


End file.
